The night of the 7th I sat outside clutching my legs to my chest. My head buried in the thick fabric of my favorite yoga pants. Tears streaming down my face.

"Help God. Help me." I cried out into the night.

Rain was falling gently from the sky. Heat was riseing in the form of a cloud from the street. It all glistened from the street light hovering a few feet over. I started out blankly. I was at a boiling point. I was lost and confused and angry with everything. I pleaded for help... and I guess I got it.

I walked back in the house and turned off my away message Gabe immeadiately IMed me. He was wanting for it to be over. He didn't want to speak ever again. From my two day prior decision I elusively agreed. And it happened. Just like that. He told me he couldn't handle hurting me every time we talked. I told him he didn't hurt me. Because at the time. I was so buried in the present and the fact that he wasn't hurting me by ending it. He was actually doing what I was only voicing it towards me. I was not suprised by the situation. I was however stunned by the goodbye... He declared it a goodbye. A Fairwell to Arms so to say. And just like that... it was over.

And now. Now I am here. I am here and living. And my days have been brighter lately. And my smiles bigger. And my tears lessened. And things seem easier. Thanks to the big guy.

kat